How can you plan for EVERYTHING?

For a while, I was trying to plan out my life so that I could do everything I ever wanted to; sing, act, dance, travel, write, teach, etc...then I realized how slightly ridiculous it is to try to do that. I mean, so many things happen that you can never possibly fathom to take into account. In the coming, unknown years of my life, there will be hundreds of epiphanies, tragedies, wonderful coincidences...it just seems easier and smarter to just remember the important things, give it all everything you've got, and let fate take the rest. things happen the way they happen, and usually they have a way of working themselves out.

I mean, being realistic, I doubt I’ll make a living in musical theater. The odds are nearly astronomical, for one, and I can think of many, many people who have committed far more time, energy, talent, and heart than i have. But I also know that if I don't give it a try, I’ll always wonder. So: I shall try! And who knows? Maybe in college I’ll suddenly fall in love with something else, do that instead, and be incredibly happy. I’m very open!

And very terrified!

A Take on one of Hamlet's (many) Soliloquies

This was an assignment for English...but I rather liked the way mine turned out. You may recognize it! ;)

To love, or not to love- that is the question:
Whether 'tis more rewarding in life to revel
In the warmth and joy of a lover’s affection
Or to avoid the ever constant dread of heartbreak,
And by never risking, forgo despair. To love- to embrace-
Is bliss; but by maintaining a wary distance, one never risks
The heartache, and the thousand possible wrongs
A lover can commit. 'Tis a circumstance
Devoutly to be feared. To adore- to worship.
To fantasize- perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub!
For in that sleep of dreams what hopes may come
When we have given in to love’s embrace,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes tragedy of loving too hard.
For who would bear the agony and anxiety of distance,
The misogynists scorn, the proud man's arrogance,
The blow of unrequited affection, the law's delay,
The unbearable pain of having heart parted from breast,
And thrown mercilessly to the floor, disregarded,
When she herself might never endure this torture by caring
With strictly cold passion? Yet; Who would not these perils endure,
To try patience with waiting for returned devotion,
But for that wonder and heavenly elation of love-
The divine mountain’s peak, from whose summit
No adventurer returns untouched,
And makes us rather bear those evils we flee
Than journey not into passion’s flame?
Thus fear of blazing out does make cowards of us all,
And thus the inherent light of ardor,
Is sicklied o'er with the grim shadow of doubt,
And makes three simple words so hard to say first
With regard to the chance they are turned awry.
So we fall, and break, and fall again,
Until we are caught. And this, the glowing dream,
We risk heart, soul, and existence for;
That we may one day by chance tumble into the arms
Of love that proves enduring, wondrous, encompasses all,
And that disproves all those who do not dare to dream.
Shall I take the leap?

There is Rain Today

See title.

I have always loved the rain...and it's interesting to note just how many people that's true for. I wonder what it is about the rain? It just makes things seem cleaner, and more peaceful...

Ok, so here I thought I was going to just go on about the rain, all attempting to be deep (ha.), and I get a message on Skype. Now, I haven't had Skype very long, and I don't use it very often, but it seems like a pretty awesome thing: for free, you get to talk to you friends via webcam. Yay technology!

However, I did NOT realize random people from other countries could chat you as well. Hence, this conversation:

[03/06/10] Julian11.uk: hi
[03/06/10] Julian11.uk: how are you
[03/06/10] Amanda Charney: ...who are you?
[03/06/10] Julian11.uk: julian
[03/06/10] Julian11.uk: from uk
[03/06/10] Amanda Charney: oh. i didn't realize random people could chat me...but hi. i'm fine, how are you? :)
[03/06/10] Julian11.uk: good thnx
[03/06/10] Julian11.uk: how old are you
[03/06/10] Amanda Charney: i'd rather not tell you that, if you don't mind. i was raised suspicious, haha
[03/06/10] Julian11.uk: ok
[03/06/10] Julian11.uk: u have cam?
[03/06/10] Amanda Charney: yes...
[03/06/10] Julian11.uk: can i see you/
[03/06/10] Amanda Charney: no. goodbye. go molest someone stupider than me, please

So, you tell me; was I being smart, or obnoxious? I think I know the answer. Besides, I'd rather some random person in the UK think I was a smart ass than get molested, wouldn't you? ;)

Makes me wonder about internet safety...it's one of those dual things, ya know? Where the internet, I personally believe, is a glorious and wonderful thing, where you can keep in touch with people, talk to your awesome friends you don't usually get to see in person, and discover things from all over the world! But it's a dangerous thing too; what if someone younger and more innocent than me had gotten that same message? What if a 12 year old thought, "Oh, how cool! Someone in ENGLAND wants to talk to me!" and it all went downhill from there?

Like I said, it's a delicate balance...but really, I think if you're smart about it all, the pros outweigh the cons. I just finished video chatting with my friend who lives in another city, who I haven't seen in far too long! And I can take care of myself :)